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A lesbian in lockdown

Week 9 of lockdown.

It’s hard. It’s easy. It’s sweet. It’s bitter. It’s joy. It’s sorrow.

I worry…

About the AFTER.

About the people who didn’t make it.

About the homeless, the abused, the bullied, the children.

About how a random virus that hit the planet and stopped our normal.

I find joy…

In conversations that would never had been had if not for lockdown.

in memories made long ago.

In looking at photographs from the past.

I stress…

about the recession that’s going to hit all of us.

about the mental health crisis that is inevitably going to be massive

about the isolation and anxiety so many people are having to go through

I get angry…

At the leaders who don’t lead. At the truth speakers who lie. At the caregivers who don’t care.

At the people who have escalated their homophobic, racist, bigoted rants and actions.

At the people who are finding new ways to scam people,

At the people who insist on making a profit from peoples vulnerability

At the people who pretend to know how to get you and your company back on your feet after lockdown.

I enjoy…

The sweet moments of doing nothing.

The spontaneous time spent with my partner.

The weekly Zoom calls with my boys and Ethan Bear.

I grieve…

About the envisioned future that may not come.

About time.

About broken promises.

I’m feel blessed…

To be loved

To be safe

To appreciate the global pause

To slow down

To love and to be kind.

My emotions and feelings have blurred into one giant ball of messy sentiments.

It’s different.


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