Why GayEsteem deficiency is a problem for the LGBTQ+ community

Many of us try to live up to society’s (and other people’s) expectations of who we are, what we should do, who we should love. Every day is a battle to conform, to fit in. Many of us live our life feeling ‘not quite normal’ and our life and the choices we make are framed within the narrow confines of those experiences.


We live in a constant state of ‘flight, fight or freeze’.

This is regardless of whether you just came out or been out for decades. It is just that some people are better at dealing with it than others. 

But how can we not be in a state of constant alert?

Over the years, we build up layers and layers of false, useless concepts and worthless convictions that can and do influence our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. We have been told, we have observed, we have witnessed that the world around us does not think we’re quite normal. 


We are constantly bombarded by the subtle socialised messages of what is acceptable and what is not...

“Not Normal” “Wrong”, “Immoral” and "Shameful"  Yet, we bear so much shame when we cannot conform to society expectations.


What GayEsteem deficiency feels like.

  • We feel ‘less than’ everyone around us.

  • We feel sad inside. A sadness that is shaded with fear and shame.

  • We become experts at avoiding ourselves. 

  • Sometime we become an exaggerated version of what is expected of us. 

  • Sometimes we desensitise ourselves. We stop thinking of ‘what ifs’? 

  • We smother our emotions. We stop feeling. This creates a void in our soul. 

  • So we fill the void with too much alcohol, too much drugs, too much sex, too much food, too much work. 

  •  Sometimes we find our voice. Yet no one seems to be listening. 

  • Sometimes we just want to be seen. Yet we feel invisible.

  • Sometimes we get tired of trying to be who we are not. So we just are.

  • And we end up living a very twisted version of normal.

Behind the unicorns, the sparkles and the glitter,

many of us go it alone.

Some of us have even experienced discrimination from other LGBTQ+ people because of their age, body, disability, ethnicity, faith, HIV status.

Some will argue that our community is solely based on sex. That our sexual preference is our identity.

But we know that’s not true. 

We are not one dimensional beings who’s sole purpose in life is sex.


We are doers and dreamers

We are passionate and creative

We exist in all walks of life

We are artists, creators, doctors, musicians, painters, physicists, nurses, lawyers, mothers, fathers, sons and daughters.

The saddest part is that the world is deprived of the brilliance, creativity and successes that could have been and should have been.

It's time to change the narrative and light up the community


The Rainbow revolution changes the


LGBTQ+ narrative.

Our shared stories of courage, overcoming challenges, love and 

transformation will inspire generations,

give hope and motivate others to light up the community.

Join us in a world of discovery, inspiration and success. 

We no longer have to go it alone.